Category Archives: Childhood

I Am Taught

Standard

shell of a woman
shell of a child
neither and elsewhere also
i am not
caved in and hollowed
by the never of my own becoming
never knew its place in me
all along, all in all
i came to a lot of places
and i came to be a lot of people
be without becoming
without once settling down
my heart
beatbeat ravenous
to explore the wilderness
the world
the wild of it all
native dirt between my toes
long enough
only to feel lost in the grit of it
the harsh sands of it
and time had nothing on me
no watches, no tears, no goodbyes or plans
just going
knowing nothing
but that desire to go
and learn every possible thing there could be
to learn
tumbleweed soul
taking the stars at night as my own
personal orphans
each of them, breastfeeding the constellations
i was a widow then
of all i’d yet to know
barefoot wanderer
who always kept the fire
through the desert midnights
going

thirty three degrees

i never came of age
i never cried at the most important losses
i never set out to conquer grief
or anything really
becoming one with things always felt more natural
organic
as in organ-like, pulsing, a living thing
if it flowed i followed
sometimes taking lead
myself my head to a sleepless bed
in an infinite twilight romance
between
this world
and
my hunger for it

the quietest of natures
calms the silence of our souls

such gluttonous, reckless freedom

i came crashing into this life
addicted to my own explosion
transfixed by the impact
of curiosity on consequence
childhood; sunsets
not a care in the world
in the wild, my hands were fearless
squishing slime-covered bodies
up and down
in and out
covering my hooks

i always sang
the beguiled worm to its grave

becoming bait
i give you thanks
for all the fish
i will have ate
later

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