I Am Not Your Victim

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I Am Not Your Victim

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
–Wilson Mizner

I chased myself
In circles, ragged
Eyes hanging so sad
Heavy
Searching, seeking
Some invisiblity
Some nonexistence
Some thing

Oh lonesome fool
I was

And one flesh, I became you
Joining in the party of pity
Hanging itself to death each night
Lay me down to sleep

Silence, sing of sorrows
Bringing lullabies
Be them borrowed

I have mastered the art
Of screaming
Without sound

How can this man I half became
Be still too deaf, too dull
To carry
And what of me
Of belief, of wedding

Nevermore, nevermind
Axes buried

And I, the madman’s trophy
Am now
No more than nothing
But once upon a time

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6 responses »

  1. A sense of deep sorrow fills me, as I read your words, the photograph catches me with the closing words, “But once upon a time”. For once upon a time, and forever there are bright lights, stars in the night sky of The Way, as is the bright soul which dwells with your heart. I fell, slipped through your words above, like the sand and salt spray of the coast on an evening breeze. Fantastic writing!

    • I believe that the transition from childhood to adulthood consists of one very simple thing: acceptance.
      My experience with the switch was a personal testament to this notion; for many of those around me, I witnessed a powerful common thread among those who struggled most with “growing up”: they all ran from their problems.

      I am finally done running.
      And truth, once embraced, sets us free.

      Thank you so much for your spirited heart. I feel the depth when you speak.

      • As assured as can be, problems can become like shadows at every step, running, or walking, they will follow. I think mine became a slightly quick transition, childhood to adulthood, little time to contemplate running from problems.

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts upon your experiences. Your depth of exploration is always dense with insight, to both heart and mind. Still plenty to learn, just like there are many things, and moments worth running with, and towards.

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