Hindsight happens.

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Hindsight happens.

It’s not what you look at that matters; it’s what you see. –Henry David Thoreau

I fully knew the probable outcome going into my situation. I forged ahead anyway.

I’m one of those people. I have to experience the truth for myself. If it isn’t firsthand knowledge it doesn’t feel like truth. It feels like secondary opinion.

Head knowledge is different than heart knowledge, and people like me will choose a broken-hearted wisdom over ignorant bliss every time. Without exception.

I’ve worked my way through the mine fields, planting a plant or two and singing my songs when I could. I came into things with a “can-do” attitude… I will leave humbled.

Willingness and ability are only divided by the variable of opportunity, of circumstance. I’ve at least learned that.

I wouldn’t do it again for any amount of money, or any promise of hope. Promises get broken. Money spends. There isn’t much worth gambling on or hoping for in this world anymore. I never really was the betting kind anyway. I simply took chances, and I took them not to succeed but to learn.

Succeeding in learning isn’t fun. For what it’s worth.

I’ve built a monument to tragedy in memory of innocence. I’m not sure which hurts worse: the memory or the tragedy.

Time measures our lives in units of sorrow, in incremental fractions of longing. In the moment, we only see what we can’t wait to have. Afterwards, we only see what we can’t get back. The “now” is a mistress of misery in this unseeing way, and the world –so madly– keeps spinning.

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6 responses »

  1. After reading this I felt exhausted and now I need a nap lol! It is all those experiences that give greater perspective, it is just really enduring! I know that all of your hardships will continue to reveal the beauty inside and never be able to crush your spirit.

  2. But sometimes we are blinded by the experience… as for example, the wisdom that blazes forth from this post… wisdom which some never gain…

    also, you will find that there are bright moments of glory sprinkled throughout… perhaps fleeting or unnoticed, but they are there…

    just as *you* are a bright moment of fleeting glory on this earth… now…

    Love,
    M

  3. “Time measures our lives in units of sorrow, in incremental fractions of longing.”
    I’m not positive (for how positive can we be about anything?), but that may be a perfect line – the sort of line that says, “This is it. I may now write no more.”

  4. When opportunity to run with chance comes up alongside, we can never tell where the conversation in the traveling is going to lead, for it’s never about learning, but rather experiencing the essences of life, living, to take hold of it, and journey as far as possible, as far as we can go with it, to run with chance. Innocence is still out there, alive in the places we’ve not seen, the many faces we’ve not read. Innocence glides on the wind, and tumbles from the storms, where the forests, the mountains call between the air’s blue vapour, and across the vast seas of liquid blue. Keep traveling, for to measure is to wait, and a traveler never waits, we just pause to breathe in each good moment as we pass along the wide untethered road, even when we feel a little stationary for but the moment, the present.

    Thoughts flowing from within this mild winter in a river’s valley by the sea…

  5. You know what? I’ve really got to read you more. This is spot on…so many quotable lines in there. Beautiful to read and so damn true.

    “People like me will choose broken-hearted wisdom over ignorant bliss every time”. Yep. That’s me, too. Head strong, always take the harder path. Then whine about it later. So mental note: stop whining 😉

  6. “I’ve built a monument to tragedy in memory of innocence”. Just a simply stunning line. I will definitely be reading more of your work.
    Keep Inspiring

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