Here, kitty kitty…

Standard
Here, kitty kitty…

You fit me well
In that sinister edge your laughter keeps
Making a mockery
Better than a living
Of me, and I pretend so well to love it

You do not know me

You wear me well
But cannot keep
Me, contained
In the guilt of your smile
You poor baby; you made me
Your fix, your crutch, your reason for being
Seldom what you seem
Turning me into a joke
Some permanence of blue
In your emptiness of green

And yet I’m the one short of worthy
You deem
It wasn’t enough
For you to tie me down
A mummified queen
Of this promised forever

If simply to breathe, I should ask your permission
If I seal my lips and sell my dreams
If I spend the money to buy into your mission–the satisfying of your own sick needs
Will you then say I’ve fared well as your wife?

If I resist the urge to peel the skin off your skull, set your frame on fire, blow your brains out just to watch you bleed
Then in my book it should suffice
(trust me)
As proof I must have loved you
If only a smidgen

If I close my eyes, keep still, be quiet
Return my silence for your emotional violence
If somehow I manage
To allow you your vices
Of snapping a soul in two just to suit you;
If I rise to the top like thickening oil
On the surface, I assure you
It means that you my dear, at least married well

I didn’t marry down;
I crawled straight to hell and took the name of the biggest beggar I found

Rob Peter to pay Paul

My life is a testament
To what happens to little girls
Who are never shown how
Why does marriage still exist?
Was I born just for this?
United with a state of unobtainable bliss

I grew up too quickly
Oblivion-rich
Of societal norms
I colored my world in shades of burnt orange
Forgetting the images subsequently absorbed
Were distorted, conformed
To my inner expectations
Of very little
And very often

We always get what it is we’ve expected

For me, it’s a lifetime of hide-and-seek
Bare-knuckled scream-thinking
Bruise-inclined heart-beating
White picket fences
And hearts to be mended
With skinned-shaking knees

I believed sweet dreams are made of these
Who wouldn’t like to disagree?

The cat accomplishes nothing
Out of the bag

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9 responses »

  1. You were born for much more than “just for this”…

    “So I will stretch out My hand and strike Egypt with all My wonders which I will do in its midst; and after that he will let you go.” – Exodus 3:20

    “But Aaron’s rod swallowed up their rods.” – Exodus 7:12

    (No way I’d want to mess with that lioness – great pic)

    • I wrote a five paragraph response to this and right before I could click “post comment” my phone crashed… Three times in a row now.

      The gist of what I was saying references David & Goliath. I caught the History Channel’s three part mini-series called The Bible, and it was more biblically accurate and free of bias/interpretation than Passion of the Christ…

      The best scene of the entire thing for me was Goliath mocking & belittling this group of God-fearing men, and from the back of the crowd David– a scrawny, unassuming young man pushes forward and assumes responsibility for taking Goliath down.

      The sheer impossibility of that, the reality that it truly happened, the fearlessness and unabashed confidence this little guy possessed as he walked into his destiny (with no clue how it would fall in place and no concern for the possibility that he’d fail)– these images stick with me in such a resonating way.

      He picked up an ever-loving rock for crying out loud. A ROCK. He was unarmed, outmatched by a man over twice his size who was backed by an army twice the size of the crowd of men in which he stood…

      And he didn’t hesitate. He didn’t return the jeering. He didn’t defend his integrity in the face of evil, he didn’t acknowledge the cowardice of brutality, he didn’t panic, he didn’t back down. He simply walked forward in faith.

      He knew his God. That’s about as badass and inspiring as anything I know.

      I love you so much.

  2. This is such a strong piece. In words, eloquence, chosen imagery, and the imagery it leaves to the readers imagination. A true triumph of human spirit and self realization. May God Bless you.
    Keep Inspiring

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