Monthly Archives: January 2013

shadows of a feeling


All of the pictures collapsed to the floor. A giant thud. A violent smack. A collective sigh of bitter longing. Decorations from the long ago littering my now. Variously faces facing all the sorrow. How. It happened, while expected least. On my knees, forced to see the many deaths I’ve died in me.
All the lonely faces, calling out my former name. Haunting all my unsung songs and singing broken melodies.
The faces. All those faces.
Gone now, each and every one. A phantom of my life gone by.
Appearing as a wanting does, whispering and taking from me a sense of well being I thought I had. They take it now, those photographs. My joy is always theirs to have. Those faces. All those faces.
Like a wind against a wide-paned window, wild framed windows to my soul; their eyes, their many many eyes, and how they laugh. Come from my past, reminding me of all I lack.
The windows will not open and the blinds here are kept shut.
Above, a turtle type of dove. Just one. Flies now away. But its sadness, all its loveliness, right here in me shall stay.


The Fallacy of One Misdeed, and Other Softly Spoken Lies


…if music moves you, check this out: Trevor Hall, “Well I Say”

“Verse is not written, it is bled; Out of the poet’s abstract head. Words drip the poem on the page; Out of his grief, delight and rage.”
–Paul Engle

It seems to me, the in-between, a grandest incongruency. Pythagoras hypotheses aristocrat hypocrisies conglomeration sits in me, the ugly hidden truth wants free.

Lies to be await in greed, catastrophes and terror attacks: love, and other fiscal facts or fiction acts, these cataracts can blind the bliss inside of thee. Unserene, in flight careens my purpose from your point of view. It fits, I wear it. Freedom’s shoe. (Never on the other foot, but then again what else is new.) Stars will shine as mountains move when feet shall kiss the morning dew.

Yes, it’s true. I stand in blue, but sit in red for me shalln’t do. The owl sings, “Coo coo ca choo,” his lonesome twilight song to you. A funeral has sounded and a death-march rhythm sways here too. Resounding, see; abounds in me, complacency warps everything. Pretense pars the course for you — effective is this angle! — when the righteousness and sacredness of matrimony won’t compute.
Will or would not, can untangle. All the deep deceptions mangle any hope we had to soothe and winds will soon die down til there is nothing left of what we knew.

I voted in my college years; you wouldn’t recognize me, no. Not then not now, the bloated cow, too rotten for my stomach. Soul. Loudly testifying, oh the edifying rocks must roll; collect no moss and get our due awaiting what becomes of you. Oh what are we abiding?

Rub the crystal ball, she sings. Jezebel shall kiss the ring — confess, repent, forgive, it’s gold! — and this is how corrupt unfolds, no holy hold have slaves to the big-bad-machine until untold a million other depths unseen become the countless shades of green. Envy rouge but seldom who; “adding unto nothing new and seldom question what we do…” This defines the core of you while everything grows empty. Ew.

Fine me if you must or dare, charge it to me fair and square. Lenience, of lingered leaning keeps the pride-man (misdemeaning all the wrongs he sees within me) laughs a victor’s type of laugh. Here, the place can trump the path. But I don’t care, there’s nothing there, the lens is out of focus. Map? Nothing more or less than math. Divide divide divided.

Looking glass and bell jar too, the lighthouse shines its light for you but who controls the sails within? There is no aim, there’s only sin. Mindless satisfies in him the whole and sum of parts un-kin.

No, I longer no abide no biting nonsense no and sigh; the prey is screaming haiku isms, help was always on the way. Bite the tongue the heart shall pray but we will lose the trail and stay not ever in one single place. My, we make a maddened schism. Meaningless, the sufferage in them; silent tragic cataclysm. Lost so we can wander; stay, and keep my sorrows long at bay for thee, the bell must toll and pay. Penance for the huge misgivings, not repentance. Not to give me. Not to think of karmic due. Not for us, but only you. Always always only who is early gets the dirty worm; the bird of prey will watch him squirm while merciless the beak shall chomp and chew your broken soul in two. Chomp the life right out of you.

content, and other double entendres


if you have a minute, there’s a song beneath the blue words here…

The pencils are all out of lead
The musings’ refuge calms my head,
of which I’m surely out of
On my mind and
Never time
Still beats relentless waves upon the
Make-believing storytimes

Where once upon
The truth
We hung
Ourselves in fullest measure;
Me, releasing, you, it stung
The innocence with all your might
That sword, come crash upon me

Lies, and more
Those lonesome lies
But mine is sharper
Double sided
When worlds collided
That nearest misery
No company shall keep in me

The paper is all out of room
Looking, finding nothing
Soon you’ll gather up your reasons
And excuse yourself behind them
My, that must combust
Your ever-present, empty hollow pride

But rent me
Swallow up my life
And once you’ve finished
Turn me in
Be kind of course,
Rewind my corpse
A costume of a bride

The flicker in my eyes
The hint of light
You thieve and keep
The black
A welcome mat
A Cheshire cat
Once warned me
That was then

This is now
There is no why
The how, a sideshow haunting

Do you find this daunting, dear?
Duty sheds a single tear
On cue the master rolls his sleeves
And then returns to rot in me

Inside out
Mascara mouth
With makeup always running

Censor that. My lips sewn shut
The fingers did the typing